An Honest Conversation About Priorities and Relationships

Whatever type of relationship it is, ignore it. What’s more important to you, your relationship or career?  In theory, we like to believe that priorities are simple, even obvious, but they are not.

Wow, this was a challenging question that I had to answer. I somehow felt like the antagonist to my relationship. Am I not paying enough attention to him? Am I toxic to him? I’m finally so content and joyful there’s no way I could handle another heartbreak. It seemed like a downward spiral of anxiety and negative thoughts.

At a very young age I’ve had to work for almost anything that I wanted. My father’s work ethic was basically ingrained in my genes, but if you know me you would know that I set large goals for myself. I’m a neat-freak. I literally think about my career every five minutes. I want to do this, or that, or want to do all three! Sometimes, I forget to slow down.

Being near the end of my first year of college I have realized the exact path I want to be on (how many Freshmen can say that?) By the age of 23 I hope to live in Chicago in a tiny studio apartment in The Loop with my small pup, a boyfriend whose heart is bigger than life, and with a job in Public Relations. I know I have to be honest with myself that life doesn’t always go as planned. But come on, I’m an ambitious woman.

What are my top priorities? I’ve recently feel that if I don’t put my relationships first than I’m a bad girlfriend. But no, this is definitely not true. Women should not feel pressured to put their significant other before themselves. I once read a quote that said, “A lover does not discourage their growth. A lover says, ‘I see who you are today, I cannot wait to see who you become tomorrow”.

This is so freeing for me and should be to all the women who put their significant other in the center of their world. They are not the sun, you are! I am working hard to become a better me, for me before I can be anybody else’s. Shouldn’t it be important to make yourself happy first. That’s not selfish, that’s telling the world that you see your own worth.

I learned that even though I want my career to be my number one, I cannot ignore my boyfriend. But rather, find a balance between my priorities. It’s all about balancing priorities. It seems simple, but I’m learning it’s not. I want to give myself  the best possible life that I can, but I remember that my boyfriend has helped me see my worth, and because of that I feel even more encouraged to pursue my dreams at the age of 18. How freaking lucky of me to have somebody who is okay with my larger than life vision for the future and who supports that and better yet, encourages that.

Many of my friends care more about their relationship than college. To me, college is basically the beginning of my career. Why not have two jobs and an internship in one summer? That sounds like the best summer to me, just getting as close as possible to my career. Even thinking about that I have to remind myself that balance is key.

Balance with my career, family, boyfriend, friends, myself. I cannot feel guilty for the order of my priorities. Even though each priority may not have equal time spent on them, it doesn’t make them any less significant. I’m learning that I can dominate my career while still caring about my relationships with others.

What are some of your top priorities?




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