Is the past worth bring up when your present is better?
Jealously can run the show, even be the center of the show, but when is it time to let go and when is it time to move past it. Perhaps, we don’t move past it completely, but rather learn to live with it, in a healthy way. Honestly, it’s an unpleasant feeling to feel powerless to this type of pain, but even I have learned that it can be overcome and worked on.
The real problem isn’t the past of your partner or your own past, but is the misguided way of thinking. For me, anxiety crawls up into the depths of my emotions and without rationally thinking, I begin to develop stories that may not even be true, even if my mind makes them real. I’ve had the privilege to be with a partner who looks beyond this issue, and instead of bringing it up over and over, he says “there is nothing that we can do about it, but move forward and love each other to the best of our ability.”
What does that mean to someone who deals with anxiety, fear, and jealously on a daily basis? It hasn’t been a smooth lesson that’s being learned, but knowing the honesty in his voice helps gain security. Reassurance from your partner is key.
Sometimes we see problems where they don’t exist. As long as we carefully monitor our misguided thinking and direct it to a more secure way of thinking, issues can begin to dissolve. It’s not an easy process, and it’s actually quite long, but it’s worth the try..