3 things New Yorkers Taught me about Fashion

It is a hands down agreement that the women of New York City are always stylish. Their looks are polished, and uniquely tailored to the ladies of the city.

My most recent trip to the City made my heart explode. My obsession with personal style was overwhelmed with the heat, unique prints, and latest trends as seen on the street. Half of my trip was spent staring at the ladies of the city. Either I was sitting in the car of a subway heading uptown, or walking across the street on 5th Ave. Here, are 3 lessons that New Yorkers taught me about fashion.

 

 

Stop matching. Just make it “go”. So many outfits didn’t even match. They just..went. Colors, patterns, cuts, layers – you name it. Even the most polished women wore pieces that complimented each other, but didn’t necessarily match shades. It made me rethink about my personal wardrobe, and how I can switch up patterns and colors a lot more than I thought. I once saw a women whose outfit didn’t match. Not a single bit, but it went. My mouth, dropped..like how could you do that and have it look bomb. A skirt, a sweater, a choker, knee highs, a vest..how. you go, girl.

(I would’ve taken a photo, but staring at her for 10 minutes on the subway was creepy enough.)

 

 

No matter the time of day or temperature outside, hair is always on point. Between the heat and humidity my hair was ready for bed at around 6pm. The frizz was impossible for me to keep up with. Perhaps, I didn’t bring the right products in accordance to the temp. Needless to say, New Yorkers know how to make hair look well-groomed. For brunch, for errands, for cocktail hour, for late night parties. Perfect loose curls, and voluminous pony’s were bouncing in the streets all night long. My hair, couldn’t disagree more with the weather.

 

Black is always an option. Whether it’s a pair of platform sandals, the elegance of a little black dress, black butterfly sunshades, or 2.55 Chanel bag- there was no doubt, that black is the answer. New Yorkers wear black, because it issexy, and suitable for any occasion. I’ve seen to many women/men make this look edgy, chic, sexy, and simple look their own. A symbol of power, or elegance, and of luxury. What better way for a New Yorker to describe their city with their outfit?

 

It’s true, New Yorkers can basically wear whatever the hell they want, and no one will judge them. The most creative, innovative, and powerful people live in this chaotic city. New Yorkers break fashion trends, they invent them, they redefine the rules. So, next time you’re looking for an outfit to wear, but feel like you have nothing..remember what a New Yorker would say to you, black is ALWAYS a good idea, mix those patterns and colors up for some summer funk..and always, make sure that your hair looks good.

 

xoxo,

Sabryna

 

 

 

 

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A Millennials way of Traveling

Officially the season of Summer (I say as I scroll through my calendar). Can you believe it’s half over?! I ask myself why time pasts so fast, and how do I keep track of it all between two jobs, an internship, and the fast world of traveling.

I’ve traveled a lot this summer. So fun, right? I often think about white scorching sand sticking to my toes, floppy sun hats, shopping bags in each hand, and how long the battery will last on my phone. I just want to capture it all. Those moments of pure joy, scrunched eye laughter and of course, Instagram worthy food.

It’s so hard to capture it all on camera. I want to take in the real life moments, but I also want to share it with the world. The difficulty of tucking those in between moments into my heart, and wanting to capture the right candid photo of my boyfriend laughing.

My most recent trip has taught me a great lesson. How to balance my phone usage and how to balance not having a phone at all. There were hours where I scrolled to catch up on my social media feed while checking up on friends, but there were days where I left my phone inside for more than 5 hours (miracle, right).

Okay, I’ll admit I missed the convenience of my phone in one hand, but I loved having memories that I can only describe to friends. Oddly enough, it feels refreshing to step away for a bit. To be in communication with only those immediately next to me. The presence of only a few around me felt like a detox that was much needed.

The balance of phone usage during vacations are tricky, but for a millennial it’s a simple lesson that is essential to learn. 

 

I Live in a Town Where my Friends Vacation

Traverse City: A place where a homemade ice cream cone is around the corner, where the lake is your backyard, and where you can find your exactly location with the palm of your right hand.

A couple of months back, my friend and I had a conversation about our home towns. She laughed and questioned, “isn’t it funny that I vacation where you live?” To be honest, I never thought of it like that. Somehow, I forgot that not everyone lives on the lake during the summer months. I’ve been more than fortunate to have a childhood in one of the most beautiful small towns in America. At times, I itched to leave such a small town, but I now think about wanting to live here with my own family someday.

The tone of her voice still drifts in my memory, and the pause of my breath. I think that I just stopped and smiled. In the moment, I quickly remembered the smell of Spring, fresh cherry blossoms, and miles of pollen that follows you around.

I remembered the comfort of downtown at dawn during summer festivals. The flower beds at the open space, a riot of June colors. The exact shade of cracked brick on downtown cross walks. 

I bragged to her about how in the Spring, the trees are clothed in white blossoms and tips still in tight buds. And how downtown streets are purposely photogenic during sunset hours. A place where the lake basically becomes your dinner table, entertainment during leisure, and backdrop of the many photos taken. I showed her photos of sunsets on the dock, but kept repeating “this doesn’t do it justice, is just doesn’t”. I explained that the familiar sign of M22 printed on t-shirts and sweatshirts explains life in Northern Michigan.

A couple of months back, I forgot about my favorite details about my home town. I’m SO in love where I live, and so thankful to have friends who remind me of all my blessings. Being home for the summer make me even more humble to live in a town where my friends vacation.

Why my Résumé Boosts Confidence

Résumés are tedious and kind of boring at times when I’m figuring out grammatical errors and appropriate word choices, I’m not going to lie to you. I’ve corrected my résumé  for months now, and trying to put onto a piece of paper my most admirable skills and experiences. Since I’ve been constantly thinking about why I would stand out to employers it has helped me gain confidence in my professional development.

I just finished my Freshman year of college, and I think I have definitely set myself up for experiences that are damn good résumé  builders (internship, wedding event assistant). I’m happy to say that putting together a résumé  has actually made me more confident. How else are you supposed to sell yourself to employers?

Doing this took a lot of work, I wrote down a list of my skills and accomplishments and circled ones that stand out the most. Sometimes I get so busy with trying to do so much at once, I forget to remember all the super awesome things that I’ve already done!

3 secrets that I’ve learned that have boosted my confidence

When I stopped listening to that voice about why every reason an employer wouldn’t want to hire me I instantly felt in control of my thoughts.

Writing down my strengths and talents has helped me to understand my strengths in a professional setting (extremely organized, leadership skills, effective communication skills, etc).

Deciding that I would hire myself if I interviewed myself. Not just because I’d be biased, but because I am confident in my inter-personal skills and smiling face that it is clearly demonstrated the moment I hand my résumé over.

 

The most important thing is that I’ve been able to pin point my issues (lack of confidence when applying) and I’ve learned to take steps to fix it. Not only have I taken steps to fix, I have learned HOW to fix it (there’s a difference). Just because we have solutions to this problem it doesn’t mean it is automatically fixed. We have to be the ones to use them! Writing a résumé  is hard work, and you’ll probably write more than one draft, but don’t forget to give yourself credit for why you’d be a great employee.

 

Good luck and happy résumé  drafting!

 

How to be a Friend Worth Keeping

There are many different types of friendships we all have. Whether it’s romantic, an acquaintance, a best friend, and even a toxic friendship it affects our personal lives more than we think. At a young age, my mother constantly reminded me of the importance of making friends, and like any little girl I wanted as many as I could possibly fit my arms around. However, growing up I realized that it is more important to have positive and encouraging friends than to have friends that prove your “social status”.

Supportive friends are seriously way better for your health, believe me. It saved me a lot of unwanted drama, gossip, and negative influences. I can’t tell you that it’s been only laughs and blue skies for my entire life, because it hasn’t.

Unfortunately, we all have had toxic friendships, and they are seriously not fun to deal with. A toxic friendship is different for everyone, but from my personal experience it meant that I worried about them 24/7, and that their negativity actually influenced my happiness.

A friend who makes you unhappy? Yes, it’s possible. Through these experiences, I’ve practiced the most important parts about being a better friend, and this is how you can be one too.

Show that you actually do care about their life. 

It’s easy to talk about on the surface topics, but don’t forget that we all have interpersonal struggles too, and it feels good when a friend asks me how I actually am. It helps me to get some of the anxiety out of my head.

Be positive to be around. 

Seriously, being around someone who is constantly negative influences me to look at the negative aspects of life. Part of being a positive friend is magnifying their strengths, saying that bad days don’t last forever, boys come and go, and a B is not the worst grade in the world.

Be supportive, and encouraging.

I think it’s an amazing feeling being that friend who encourages someone to better their life, because they feel supported to do so. Giving and receiving compliments makes us smile, so why not make your friend smile too? Encouragement goes a long way, especially when you have friends that are shy and insecure. Sometimes, they won’t vocalize that they feel encouraged, but they probably gained a new sense of confidence.

Show your true self, and be vulnerable.

Creating an environment where it’s okay to show your deepest emotions, and most life changing stories actually makes us feel like we can open up more. Trusting a friend to take you as you are can be difficult, but once you show them they can be themselves, it really does create an intimate bond.

Stay in touch even if you get busy

I’ve been the friend who lost touch with friends, because of my crazy work schedule, but I’ve also been the friend who lost a friend because of the lack of communication. Even if you’re swamped with work, take a second to send a text, and say hi..it does go a long ways. Putting the effort in to show that you care shows a lot about your character, and by doing this it can rekindle a friendship.

 

There’s a ton of tips out there for being a better friend, but I think these are my most important tips based on personal experiences. Finding a group of friends who challenge you, inspire and encourage you is so important for a healthy friendships. Having friends like this are worth keeping, so why not try to be the friend you’d want to have around?

 

 

 

 

 

Why it’s Important to have Goals

I can probably make a giant list of why it’s important to have goals, but today, I’m going to focus on one really important reason. Having goals makes me feel happy!

Recently, I’ve thought about happiness and self-esteem. These two go hand in hand, wouldn’t you agree? If you’re not happy, your self-esteem is most likely low, vise versa. No matter if I’m having a bad day about my body image or if it’s a bad day in general, I forget that there’s way more to self-esteem than solely focusing on body image. I’m not always the most confident person, and sometimes I would consider myself an introvert. But, when I’m asked about both personal and career goals, I feel my face brighten, because I’m always so happy to talk about it. I can literally talk about my short and long term goals  for hours, and I normally get so excited that I forget to slow down when speaking. My sisters have always laughed at me when I talk about something exciting, because without recognizing I begin to speak really fast and end up mumbling, because I forget to enunciate my words.

It’s important to have clear and specific goals, because we can allow ourselves to be interested in whatever the goal may be, and without noticing it makes us happy to know the possibility of accomplishing them. I’ll admit, I’m a pretty self-cautious person. Most people are. But, when talking about my goals I am definitely not self-cautious, and this is something to be happy about!

Have you ever been asked about your goals, and proceeded to talk about them so passionately that you didn’t even worry what someone else thought? It’s a pretty dang good feeling, isn’t it.

So, I’ve been thinking..

What if a way to re-build self-esteem is to focus on the types of feelings we get when speaking about goals? And a good way to do this is to take mental notes of what your body language is saying, how your emotions are, and how it makes you feel to talk about them. What if, the more we positively and passionately we talked about our goals the more self-esteem we create for ourselves. Sure, it may only be one outlet of positive self-esteem, but that’s a big step for someone who has struggled with it. Once we get familiar with these positive feelings again, it will become contagious, and perhaps, we can continue strive to think more positively.

And sometimes, small steps like this take a lot of courage to do, but it is totally possible and WORTH it to love who you are.

A Weekend in the Windy City

Chicago appeals to me more and more after every visit. Whether it’s the clean streets, breathtaking sky line, or the way Lake Michigan hugs the city. I can’t help but fall more in love with the city life.

Coming from a small town, and traveling to larger cities brings a rush of excitement. I’m always up for finding new restaurants to eat at, coffee shops to sip latte’s at, and stores to shop at! There’s just SO much to do here. Luckily, my boyfriend and I are fortunate to have friends who live around Lincoln Park area. This neighborhood is perfect in every way, and I’m obsessed.

We did everything my little feet could do in 3 days. Eating at Chicago’s most famous pizzeria, tasting a variety of macaroons at my favorite cafe, visiting tourist attractions, and everything in between. Here’s a couple of shots that I’m excited to share with you all..

The one thing that makes me feel so alive in the city is the inspiration I get when I visit. There’s so much life in the streets of Chicago, and it’s incredibly contagious.

I feel like anything can happen in Chicago.. Maybe, it’s because of the bold architecture, or Chicago traffic at 5pm, or maybe, it’s the smell of Lake Michigan mixing with hot dogs.. I’m not sure, but I cannot wait for my next visit to the Windy City.

 

A Misguided Perception..and When it’s Time to Let Go

Is the past worth bring up when your present is better?

Jealously can run the show, even be the center of the show, but when is it time to let go and when is it time to move past it. Perhaps, we don’t move past it completely, but rather learn to live with it, in a healthy way. Honestly, it’s an unpleasant feeling to feel powerless to this type of pain, but even I have learned that it can be overcome and worked on.

The real problem isn’t the past of your partner or your own past, but is the misguided way of thinking. For me, anxiety crawls up into the depths of my emotions and without rationally thinking, I begin to develop stories that may not even be true, even if my mind makes them real. I’ve had the privilege to be with a partner who looks beyond this issue, and instead of bringing it up over and over, he says “there is nothing that we can do about it, but move forward and love each other to the best of our ability.”

What does that mean to someone who deals with anxiety, fear, and jealously on a daily basis? It hasn’t been a smooth lesson that’s being learned, but knowing the honesty in his voice helps gain security. Reassurance from your partner is key.

Sometimes we see problems where they don’t exist. As long as we carefully monitor our misguided thinking and direct it to a more secure way of thinking, issues can begin to dissolve. It’s not an easy process, and it’s actually quite long, but it’s worth the try..

 

An Honest Conversation About Priorities and Relationships

Whatever type of relationship it is, ignore it. What’s more important to you, your relationship or career?  In theory, we like to believe that priorities are simple, even obvious, but they are not.

Wow, this was a challenging question that I had to answer. I somehow felt like the antagonist to my relationship. Am I not paying enough attention to him? Am I toxic to him? I’m finally so content and joyful there’s no way I could handle another heartbreak. It seemed like a downward spiral of anxiety and negative thoughts.

At a very young age I’ve had to work for almost anything that I wanted. My father’s work ethic was basically ingrained in my genes, but if you know me you would know that I set large goals for myself. I’m a neat-freak. I literally think about my career every five minutes. I want to do this, or that, or want to do all three! Sometimes, I forget to slow down.

Being near the end of my first year of college I have realized the exact path I want to be on (how many Freshmen can say that?) By the age of 23 I hope to live in Chicago in a tiny studio apartment in The Loop with my small pup, a boyfriend whose heart is bigger than life, and with a job in Public Relations. I know I have to be honest with myself that life doesn’t always go as planned. But come on, I’m an ambitious woman.

What are my top priorities? I’ve recently feel that if I don’t put my relationships first than I’m a bad girlfriend. But no, this is definitely not true. Women should not feel pressured to put their significant other before themselves. I once read a quote that said, “A lover does not discourage their growth. A lover says, ‘I see who you are today, I cannot wait to see who you become tomorrow”.

This is so freeing for me and should be to all the women who put their significant other in the center of their world. They are not the sun, you are! I am working hard to become a better me, for me before I can be anybody else’s. Shouldn’t it be important to make yourself happy first. That’s not selfish, that’s telling the world that you see your own worth.

I learned that even though I want my career to be my number one, I cannot ignore my boyfriend. But rather, find a balance between my priorities. It’s all about balancing priorities. It seems simple, but I’m learning it’s not. I want to give myself  the best possible life that I can, but I remember that my boyfriend has helped me see my worth, and because of that I feel even more encouraged to pursue my dreams at the age of 18. How freaking lucky of me to have somebody who is okay with my larger than life vision for the future and who supports that and better yet, encourages that.

Many of my friends care more about their relationship than college. To me, college is basically the beginning of my career. Why not have two jobs and an internship in one summer? That sounds like the best summer to me, just getting as close as possible to my career. Even thinking about that I have to remind myself that balance is key.

Balance with my career, family, boyfriend, friends, myself. I cannot feel guilty for the order of my priorities. Even though each priority may not have equal time spent on them, it doesn’t make them any less significant. I’m learning that I can dominate my career while still caring about my relationships with others.

What are some of your top priorities?